Hello losers. I just got back from shooting some scenes for my upcoming commercial. Yes, I’m doing a f**king commercial. It will air nationwide (USA) in February. And I’m still cracking up. It’s destined to be a classic. No stupid infomercial. No BS. It’s the ultimate Biz-Opp commercial, like no one has ever seen before….Rich Jerk Style.

So, more millions on the way. Ahh, life is really rough in my world. Waking up and knowing that I have more money than I’ll ever spend, and more on the way. Meanwhile, I have people working for me every day, pumping out new websites for me, using my strategies as a platform in hundreds of niches. It’s like a well-oiled machine. And the rich get richer. Maybe one day you’ll understand. But I doubt it. You probably haven’t even read my book and used my strategies have you? I bet my ebook is printed out and sitting in thousands of peoples’ desks right now, collecting dust. But that’s okay with me….I already got paid for them.

By the way, my staff is getting a lot of idiot-mail lately from people who claim they have more money than me, that I’m not rich, etc. Guess what? I DON’T CARE. I barely value my customers (because I know 99.9% won’t do what I tell them), so why the hell would I value a non-customer? Get a f**kin life. We all know you don’t have sh** and you’re jealous. In the time it takes you to write me, you could have gotten into your 79′ Celica and been on the the way to the unemployment office, where a nice minimum wage job awaits. Try to manage your time better. Don’t let me be responsible for you missing out on a job cleaning toilets.

And now it’s time for Christmas. Great, just what I need, extended family members who I never talk to suddenly inviting me to gatherings, hoping I’ll share my wealth in the form of expensive presents. Don’t these people know by now, IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN. I can barely stand the immediate family that I do see every now and then, let alone extended family. It’s to the point where I despise holidays. So let this be a lesson to ya, when you make money people will come out of the woodwork looking for a handout, INCLUDING FAMILY.

That’s enough ranting for now. There are so many things that annoy me. I’m frequently asked if there is anything I DO like. Well here they are:

Exquisite Toys and Exquisite Women.

RJ

I’m back from another long vacation. Don’t worry about where I went. It’s not important, because you’ll never get to go there.

I went to my office today to fire a few people, and after that we read some of my hate mail. We all had a good laugh, then crumpled them up into a large ball, put a few rubber bands around them and played a game of office baseball. So keep the hate mail coming. I especially get a kick out of the ones from people saying that it’s people like me who put the world in the situation it’s in, etc. Apparently by kicking people in the ass and telling them they’re worthless if they don’t actually DO something with their lives, I’m a detriment to society. Sounds to me more like I struck a nerve with some people who aren’t satisfied with their pathetic lives, and they need an excuse for not doing sh**, so they write long winded stories to me about how they are happy being poor, because at least they have “principles”.

Wait a second. They might actually be right. I think somewhere along the way I may have lost my principles. Could it be? I suddenly feel the urge to be a do-gooder. Oh man, this is serious. What’s happening? Now I think I see the error of my ways. I don’t have the “principles” that people want me to have. What was I thinking? Of course, that’s it….being poor, but having “principles” IS the only way to go…..At least then I could feel good about myself….I really do need to change…..this isn’t working……I have a large bank account but again, where are my principles?….I feel so horrible about how I’ve acted. I need to change my ways….I’m a disgusting, horrible, horrible person. This is it……I’m having an epiphany. I’m going to be better. I have to be better. I’m going to give all of my money to charity……I’m going to join the Peace Corps. I’m going to make a difference. Then people will respect me. And that’s what I really should be living for. I should strive to make everyone like me. That’s what it’s all about. I should abide by everyone else’s rules of right and wrong. I’m going to do it! I’m going to change!…I’m….I’m…oh wait….I forgot….

I DON’T GIVE A SH** ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME.

Phew….that was close. I almost became like everybody else. My alter ego, the good guy, almost came through. Luckily I squashed him down before I fell into the trap of being a mediocre, low to middle class clone that falls into line, goes to his 9 to 5, makes just enough to pay the bills, but somehow finds the time to complain about his life….DAILY. I almost got to be a hypocrite too, like the losers who write to me. You know, the people who JUDGE me, and tell me I’m going to Hell. Those who are more “righteous” than I am. The ones who are good people when it’s convenient for them. Funny thing is, someone very important once said “Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged”. I guess that only applies to me.

Wow, I really got off on a tangent there. I can hear the keyboards being pounded now as more hate mail comes my way. That’s okay, perhaps when you are done judging me, you will actually read my book, put the strategies to use, and make a lot of money. Then you can give it to charity or do whatever you want with it. Of course I’ll continue judging people myself, because I don’t claim to be righteous person.

In the meantime, I’ll be relaxing somewhere, where my biggest decision will be whether I want Shiatsu or Swedish.

See ya,

RJ