Dear (intentionally blank),

Why didn’t I call you a loser? It’s simple. I think you deserve a break.

You see, my latest slew of emails about whatever is on my sick mind has struck a chord with more people than any emails I’ve ever sent out. This has spawned a lot of speculation as to my mental state, and whether or not I should be locked up.

I have people whose sole job is filtering out my HATE MAIL. And they have been working overtime.

Even my employees can’t believe some of the stuff I’ve sent out lately, and they’re used to my dimensia.

The basic theme seems to be that I’m HATED by 95% of the people who respond to my emails. For the other 5% who appreciate my warped sense of humor and underhanded tactics, I applaud you.

I’m a REAL person. I’m not quite the Devil Incarnate. I’ve actually been known to have sane thoughts on occasion. My therapist can vouch for that. I take a cocktail of antidepressants, relaxors, and anti-psychotics every day. It’s some good sh*t.

Sometimes I go too far for some of you, but I’ll never apologize for that. Because that’s who I am. My success and wealth happened so fast, and with that came the women, the houses, the cars, the power, etc. So it’s easy to
let that go to your head. And my head is quite swollen.

I’m not saying that I’m not the fu*king man, because I most certainly am. And I’m obviously better than you…that’s just a fact. But I’m also only human….well, maybe slightly better than human.

I’m even thinking of getting a robotic arm to replace my left arm.

But regardless, I want people to know that I’ve seen what’s being said about me all over forums, blogs, etc.

I’m going broke, I’m being sued, I’m being investigated by the FBI, I’ve gone to far, I’ve lost my mind, I’ve lost credibility, I’m a neo-nazi, I’m a racist, I’m a terrorist sympathizer, I’m making a last ditch effort to save my floundering company, my ebook is no longer relevant, I’m a one hit wonder, my methods are bullsh*t, my penis is extremely large……blah blah blah.

Let me address all of that right here and now, in a no BS, no hype, no selling email.

Any rumor that I’m going broke, or that my company isn’t doing well is absolutely insane. Fact is, I’ve never been as successful as I am RIGHT NOW. Investments, real estate, affiliate marketing, coaching, and some amazing JV’s have contributed to the most profitable year of my life. And next year looks to trump this one 10 fold.

Now what about lawsuits and legal stuff? First of all, I just won a huge lawsuit. And I’m currently suing several other individuals and companies. I am not presently a defendant in ANY cases whatsoever. My lawyers are superstars. Watching them mop up the floor with my “problems” is not only financially rewarding, but also extremely fun to watch.

And how about investigations? I’ve heard things about the FBI seizing stuff from me, investigating me, and that it’s being reported on CNN. Look, I haven’t heard from ANY governmental agencies, and I would love nothing more than free PR on CNN. But it just hasn’t happened. If anyone wants to make that happen, let’s talk. Otherwise, shut the fu*k up.

Is there anything else? Oh yeah, the whole 9/11 thing. I offered “companionship” to 9/11 widows. That’s called “shock value”. It got you pissed didn’t it? Good. Now you won’t forget me anytime soon. And THAT is what really bothers you….that I’m just so fu*king vile, yet EFFECTIVE. It gets under your skin. But you keep reading anyway. You know deep down you love it. Otherwise you would’ve left a long time ago. So shut the fu*k up,
and go create your own empire.

Intelligent people know the 9/11 thing was all in jest anyway. I love the USA. It’s where I’ve made my fortune. And like I said before, you have no idea what charities, non-profits, or strip clubs I contribute to. So go do whatever it is that you do, and leave me the fu*k alone.

SIDENOTE - if any beautiful ladies do need some companionship, whether you are a widow or not, you know where to find me.

And finally I’ll comment on the rumors that my book is outdated, useless, a one hit wonder, etc. The simple fact is my book is one of the most successful (if not “the” most successful) ebooks ever in existence. I’m still # 6 or # 7 in Clickbank. And ebook sales are NOTHING compared to my other streams of revenue. Are the tactics outdated?

Well, I know a guy who used the tactics in my book to make over $200k in just 10 days THIS month. Without any product launches whatsoever. Just PPC. Can you do that?

My book has also been updated over 100 times. Any customer can log in at http://www.therichjerk.com/login and get the latest version for free.
My forum at http://www.therichjerk.com/forum also has over 20,000 members. It’s become one of the most visited and important forums in internet marketing today.

Now 2007 is around the corner and I have so many new products coming, your head will spin. And they will all DOMINATE.

One more thing. to anyone who doubt the power and influence of the Rich Jerk…I’ve recently been invited to a super secret event with only the top 20 internet marketers in the world. These people know I’m the sh*t. If you don’t realize that by now, YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE. The event is being held by a guy that does over $20 million a year on the internet selling INFORMATION. A guy you’ve never heard of. And it’s not in the “make money” industry. Maybe I’ll tell you about him one day.

I’d also like to take a second and give a big kudos to John Reese, who is a competitor of mine, on his recent acquisition of Income.com. He will be providing free content on it throughout 2007. That’s a fat domain name. He’s obviously a major player. What am I gonna do about it? Muhuhahaha….Wait and see in ‘07.

OK, that’s it. RJ (real person for today) is now signing off. Which RJ will show up next time? I think we all know the answer to that.

Later Losers,

Da Man

P.S. The Norelco Bodygroom really did add an extra optical inch to my shlong. See the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsbXwzqlqsU

Dear Loser,

I’ve sent out two emails in the past few days
with some groundbreaking news:

a) I’m holding a live 2 day event.

b) I’m releasing some killer software.

c) I have video proof that I’m fu*king awesome.

If you missed my shocking video, go to
http://www.therichjerk.com/site/proof

In response to the above I received over 20,000 replies.
In the email marketing world, that’s a tremendous response.

And more than 10,000 of those replies were from people
who told me to fu*k off, die a slow death, go to Hell,
wait for a hitman, prepare for a broken jaw, blah blah blah.

In other words, the same ole’ stuff I always get.

But people are EXTRA pissed at me this time, because they
never took me seriously before. But I just shoved video
proof UP THEIR ASSES. And now they’re angry, because
there’s no denying it now - how legit I am, and how
truly pathetic they are.

Not many people can handle that truth.

The thing is, if you can’t handle me - if you are insecure,
incapable, offended, and/or insanely jealous of me,
why the fu*k are you reading this. Do curse words bother
you? Then FU*K OFF! You knew what you were getting into
when you signed up, and we’re not in preschool, kids. I
live in the real world. And I play with the big boys.

If you can’t handle the real world, then PERMANENTLY REMOVE
YOURSELF from my list here:

http://www.therichjerk.com/mgnt/optout

I want you gone more than YOU want to be gone. So get out,
and good riddance.

I hope that link just helped me get rid of a few hundred thousand
clueless idiots who will never amount to jack sh*t.

Moving on, I want get to serious with those of you who
are still here.

You know me by now. You know what I’m all about:
Making tons of money doing things that aren’t “politically correct”.
Because I don’t give a sh*t what people think of me.
“Status Quo” has never been my thing and it never will be.

If you have a problem with that, again LEAVE NOW by going here:

http://www.therichjerk.com/mgnt/optout

I get THOUSANDS of new subscribers every day, but all I want
are those who are serious about making some money. I don’t
care if that’s 900,000 people or only 22 people. Even if it’s
just one hick in Arkansas, that’s the guy I want to talk to.

- If you are skeptical of me, go away.

- If you think I’m a scammer, go away.

- If you doubt you can make money online, go away.

And if I haven’t weeded you out by now, let’s try this on
for size:

If you have anything less than $6k available in your
bank account or on credit cards, the rest of this email will be
useless to you. Because if that’s the case, you haven’t used
my book properly, and you aren’t ready for the next level.

By now you should have at the VERY LEAST made a few thousand
bucks using my methods. But if you’re still dirt poor,
I can’t help you right now - you need to use my book and
get back to me later. It’s not rocket science.

So for those of you who don’t have at least $6k available
some way, somehow….close this page and get to work.

I’ll wait a few moments here for all of you to leave………
…………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………….
(elevator music playing)
…………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………….
I’m serious….LEAVE!………………………………….
…………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………….

Still here?

Good. Now I should only have the attention of the few people who
actualy “get” me. The people who take me and my messages for
what they are….a WAKE UP CALL. And evidently you got the
message. You know who you are. And you know I’m talking
specifically to YOU right now.

Not only do you “get” me, but I also get you. Because I’ve
been where you are. No matter if you’re just getting by,
with a little money in the bank, or living off of credit -
or even if you’re currently making a decent living but
want to GO BIG.

I’ve been there.

And now your life can change. You CAN be where I am.

I’m no Pulitzer Prize winner. I’m a freakin’ college drop out.
I barely got through 1 year before I quit. I couldn’t
hack it. I tried regular retail and corporate jobs too.
But I don’t like to be told what to do. Telling your boss
to fu*k off makes it hard to hold a job. I found out
the only way I’d every be happy was by being my own boss.

If that’s you too, your time has arrived. Because I’m about
to take a handful of people and PERSONALLY change their lives.

No bullsh*t marketing schemes here. I like to do those
sometimes, and I can show you how to do them to, but right
now I’m being as straight up as I’ve ever been. So take this message
for what it is - the thing you’ve been waiting for.

On January 11th and 12th I’m going to expose a few people to
a lifestyle, a business process, trade secrets, software, and
more - a culmination of things you’ve never seen before.

- Peer over my shoulder during a normal business day.

- Sit in on meetings

- Hear my phone calls to some of the most influential
marketers and business people in the world

- Soak it all in

Then accompany me to a true Southern California Mansion,
where we’ll eat, drink, fu*k around, and then get down
to business. Ask me anything you want, in a brutal Q & A
session. Then be exposed to a few of my “friends” who have
helped me get to where I am. These are guys that very
few people know about.

- 2 guys who do over $1 million/month creating leads online

- The underground copywriter who writes all of the sales
letters for the biggest online product launches in the world.
His last one collected over $2 million within 24 hours, and
will collect another $10 million over the next 12 months.

- A couple of surprise guests that you would never expect me
to be associated with. I expect to see mouths drop open.

I’ll also be handing out a bunch of free gifts that will
blow your mind. And I’m not talking about bullsh*t DVD’s,
marketing courses, etc. This is REAL stuff. Trips, electronics,
and more.

And all of that IS JUST DAY 1.

On DAY 2, we’ll dig in for an intense training session
for an unbelievable money-sucking software created by a partner
of mine. This kind of software has never been made available
before. It’s called Keyword X-Ray, and it will give you a HUGE
edge over 99.9% of the other marketers out there. It will help
you DOMINATE with Pay-Per-Click advertising, and Search
Engine Optimization.

Imagine being able to see every keyword stat of any site in
the world that has an affiliate program, as if the site were
your own. It’s now possible.

The CREATOR of the software will walk you through everything all
day and all night if necessary. Whatever it takes to get
you feeling like you’re ready to go out and DESTROY any competition.

So, to sum it up, my event will be January 11th and 12th in
San Diego, CA.

Day 1 - The “You Just Hit the Fu*kin Lottery” Day with RJ.

Day 2 - The “Destroy All Humans” Keyword X-Ray Software Training Day.

Oh, and one more thing. We will begin taking orders for this
event on Tuesday, December 12th at 12pm EST (9am PST).

But money DOESN’T get you into my event. It’s gonna take more than
that. Space is extremely limited. When the special site goes live,
we’ll be taking APPLICATIONS along with a small down payment. If
your application sucks, your small deposit will be refunded.

The special website to visit at 12pm EST on Tuesday, Decmber 12th will
be: http://www.rjxray.com

Right now it simply redirects to one of my other sites. But Tuesday
at noon eastern, the REAL page will load promptly. I suggest you
get there a few minutes early and REFRESH the page often until it’s ready.
That way you can be one of the first to get in. As soon as I feel
we have enough qualified applicants, the page will be taken down, so
don’t procrastinate if you are SERIOUS about going.

Let’s do this.

RJ

P.S. See my video that made so many people FREAK OUT:

http://www.therichjerk.com/site/proof

Dear Loser,

As of the writing of this blog entry, we’ve
received 7,653 emails from my subscribers
asking questions about the upcoming Rich Jerk
Field Trip and Software Training Day. At one
point we were getting 500 emails per
hour. One customer service guy threatened
to quit, so I flicked a $100 bill
at his face and he calmed down.

My guys say we’ve already got almost 300
people saying they can’t be online Tuesday
at noon (EASTERN) to reserve their spot.
Many want to paypal me or give me their credit
card info early to lock in their spot.

That’s not gonna happen because in this case
it takes more than money to attend. You need
to fill out a short application telling me why I
should choose you over the thousands of others
who want to come.

There won’t be special treatment for anyone.
Everyone will have to wait until the clock strikes
noon on Tuesday to get access to the application.

This field trip is DEFINITELY not meant for everyone.
If you think you can’t make it, or can’t
get the investment together in time, stay out
of the way. Do not go to the special website
on Tuesday 12 noon (EASTERN).

Yesterday, some idiot posted info about my
event all over a bunch of forums. Look, if you
all keep blabbing about this thing, you’re only
going to DECREASE your chance of getting accepted.
And I really don’t feel like looking at thousands
of applications, so do me a favor and keep your mouth
shut.

The mansion can only comfortably hold a few dozen
people at a time, and I really don’t need the headache.

So DON’T annoy me by spreading this around. It’s
only intended for my most loyal followers - those
who know what I’m all about. Those who want to be the
next big thing.

Now that that’s out of the way, here is a list
of the most often asked question in the past 48 hours:

—————————————–
Who the hell do you think you are?
—————————————–

If you have to ask, you’re definitely
not invited.

————————————————–
Do You really make a lot of money online?
————————————————–

I’ve been online for 7 years. In that time
I’ve banked well into 8 figures operating
completely online.

I had one of my guys prepare a short video
of various checks I’ve received over the
past few months. Most large sums come via
wire transfer - maybe I’ll show you some of
those in a few days..

Go here to check out the video:
(Warning: may be offensive to the financially challenged)

http://www.therichjerk.com/site/proof

—————————————–
Why Are You Doing This?
—————————————–

Fair enough. You and I both know I’m not the kind of
guy to do any seminar bullsh*t. That’s why I’m
making sure this event is unlike any you’ve ever
seen or heard of before.

One obvious reason I’m doing it is because
I’m going to make a ton of money …

Not necessarily from the event itself, but more
from the DVD’s that will be created after we film it.
They will be packaged into my next infomercial.

But even then, making huge amounts of money while
essentially doing nothing isn’t that exciting anymore.

I’m getting restless.

How many cars, planes, boats, houses, etc does
somebody really need anyway?

Believe it or not, I’ve actually started to
get most of my REAL enjoyment out of creating
a stir in the marketplace, sending the other
gurus running for cover. You should see the emails
they send me begging me not to pick them out
of the pack and attack them.

It’s pretty funny.

And today I logged into our main email account and
actually read some emails. Several told me I need
to find God. Others told me to be on the
lookout for a hitman. Some just told me to
fu*k off - wonder where they got that from?

Then there were others who have seen
the light. They took my kick in the ass and moved
forward. And now they’re in the right mindset to
make some serious money and change their lives.

Mediocrity is unacceptable in my world.

If you can’t handle that, then UNSUBSCRIBE
from my emails. I don’t want you. You don’t
deserve to read my stuff.

For the rest of you, I’m actually starting
to get some enjoyment out of the new mini
rich jerks I’ve created. Keep sending me
your stories and maybe I’ll feature you with
a link to one of your websites.

———————————————–
What are the dates of the field trip? I
need to make my flight and hotel plans…
———————————————–

DO NOT book any travel arrangements until
you’ve received word that your application
was approved.

On Tuesday when you get the address of the
special website to go to, you will have to
apply to be accepted into my event.

Official Dates:
Rich Jerk Headquarters Field Trip & Mansion Session
Thursday January 11th 2007

The X-ray Software Intensive Training
Friday January 12th 2007

—————————————–
What’s this going to cost?
—————————————–

People offer me up to $10k to do one hour phone
consultations. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don’t.
When money isn’t an object, time becomes your most
important asset. And to me, my time is worth A LOT.

If you want to come and learn my secrets, it’s not
going to be cheap. Then again what’s expensive
to you might be a total no-brainer bargain to
someone else.

If you’re really worried about the price, it’s
probably not right for you. So let’s not waste
anybody’s time. Move on and buy somebody
else’s piece of sh*t e-book for $29.

—————————————————————
Why are you giving attendees a large percentage of
the profits from the upcoming X-ray software
launch in Feb ‘07?
————————————————————–

Simple. Because it’s never been done before. All these
other guys claim to do big launches and brag about all the
money they made selling you a big box of crap.

How do even know they made that much? And if they
did, did they share it with you? No fu*kin way.

I like to do different sh*t. Stuff that nobody else will
do. Shake things up, even if it costs me money. Even
if it’s for my own Hedonistic pleasure. I’m upping the ante.
I’d like to see the other guys try this.

With me, you’ll get to see the entire launch from the
inside out. You’ll know every dollar and every
penny earned. And then you’ll get a check for your share.

Anyone who comes to both days of my field trip
will receive a cash bonus equal to 1% of my profits
from all sales of the smokin hot X-ray software in February ‘07.

Not to mention, you’ll also get to use the software well before
anyone else gets access to it. You’ll go home with a lifetime
license. Sharp members of the intensive x-ray group should be
able to make back several times the field trip
investment within the first month of using the software.

————————————————–
Do I get to stay in your mansion if I come?
————————————————–

Probably not. Although I’m toying with the idea
of letting the first 5 people who sign up
stay one night at the mansion.

————————————————————-
Can I get my money back if I don’t like the field trip?
————————————————————-

This is not some seminar, boot camp, convention, conference,
snore fest or pitch fest. We are not messing around.

You will witness the inner workings of a very PRIVATE
multi-million dollar company. You will get to look over
my shoulder during a typical business day in my headquarters.
You will also get to see my process for accepting joint venture
partners. In fact, just for attending, you’ll be pushed to the
front of the line if you ever come up with a business proposition
for me. I’ll read it personally. Other people pay me thousands
just to “consider” their proposals.

In order to attend the field trip, you will be required to sign a
very serious non-disclosure agreement. This means you will be
exposed to trade secrets. Once you know a secret, that’s it. There’s
no unlearning it. So no, there will be no refunds.

If you are even thinking about ordering with the security
of a refund, GO AWAY. Your application will be shredded
mercilessly.

————————————————–
Can I Bring My Wife, Husband, Partner?
————————————————–

Only if they pay the entrance fee.

But if you want to bring them just for vacation,
make it before or after my 2 day event.

—————————————–
—————————————–

That’s it for now.

If you have any other questions, send them to my
grunt workers. They’ll pick the best ones and I’ll answer
them next time.

Again, it cannot be emphasized enough, THIS FIELD TRIP EXPERIENCE
IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.

It may be expensive to come and hang with the Rich Jerk, but it’s
an opportunity that isn’t going to be repeated EVER again.

I make no apologies for the size of the investment. I set the price at a
level that will make absolute certain we get only SERIOUS people applying.

If this is you, I’ll read through your application on Tuesday
afternoon.

Try to impress me. I bore easily.

Talk soon,

-RJ

P.S. Be on the lookout Monday for a sneak peak of what to expect.
Then prepare yourself to be ready to go in strong on
Tuesday, 12 noon (Eastern) to claim your spot for
the Rich Jerk Headquarters Field Trip, Mansion Session, & X-ray
Software Intensive.

P.P.S. Here is the link to my new video again:

http://www.therichjerk.com/site/proof

P.P.P.S. Did anyone notice I was borderline *NICE*
in this email? Enjoy it, cuz it probably won’t
happen again anytime soon.

Dear Loser,

You poor thing. You probably don’t even know
that your life sucks, do you?

That’s just sad.

But at least ignorance is bliss. Because if you don’t
know how good things can be, your life doesn’t
seem so bad.

But trust me….it is.

In fact, if I had your life, I’d either change things
real quick or commit suicide.

So unless you plan on ending it all, LISTEN UP.

I fu*k around with you a lot, BECAUSE I CAN. After all,
you sought me out and DOUBLE CONFIRMED that you
wanted to receive my emails.

So either you enjoy punishment, or there’s something in
your pea brain that thinks one day I might tell you something
that just CLICKS.

Well, today is that day.

I’m going to do something that I swore I would never do.
Prepare yourself. You may need an extra Depends diaper
for this.

Are you ready?

Sh*t, I’m sitting here right this very second, still
teetering with this decision. I was supposed to announce
this last week, but I changed my mind. Now I’ve been
fronted so much GREEN that not doing it would be INSANE.

Grrrrrr.

You have no idea how much this pains me. And I’m not a
guy whose used to doing things I don’t want to do.

Aww, fu*k it. I’ll keep writing this email for now,
and maybe I won’t send it. Thats the only way I can
convince myself to keep writing at this point.

Anyway, it’s time for your wet dream come true.

Here goes….

I’m about to participate in 2 things I never thought
I would, and you can be an integral part in BOTH of them.

A standardized product launch & a Rich Jerk event.

I may regret this decision for years, but in January 2007,
I’ve decided to open up my headquarter doors to a few
lucky visitors.

A Field Trip to the Inner Sanctum of the Rich Jerk.

During this day, you’ll get to see how my staff and I run
a multi-million dollar company.

You’ll get to see the nuts & bolts of my business:
-how orders are processed and fulfilled
-how my customer service operates
-how joint ventures are created
-where my ummpa looompas take a dump
-how genius ideas are created from scratch
-how branding happens
-how systems are created and maintained
-how to build infrastructure
-how to run a backend that rakes in cash on autopilot
-how to manage numbers, including accountants & attorneys
-how I only hire two kinds of people….geniuses and hot chicks

A few of you can even sit in on a brainstorming session
in my conference room, where we let the ideas openly flow
while we’re hopped up on energy drinks and whatever else
we can get our hands on.

After the office visit, we’ll shuttle you off to one of
my latest acquisitions - a multimillion dollar mansion
tucked along the California coastline. No stuffy hotel
conference rooms with the air conditioning jacked up
to Siberian winter.

And after you’ve stopped drooling, we’ll settle in for an
intimate session on the A-Z of internet marketing, Rich Jerk Style.

-Affiliate Program Promotion Domination
-Product Creation
-Character Development and Brand Building
-How to Build a Business, Not a 1 Man Show

Then…

An Intimate fireside Q & A with me, the Rich Jerk. Where I’ll
take questions, and tell you how I did what I did, and what the
fu*k you should be doing. And we’ll go all night if you want to.
Or we can finish early and go party hardcore downtown - VIP all
the way. Doesn’t matter to me.

Now for those of you who want the whole enchilada…..

Come a day early and I’ll also be revealing my super secret
affiliate program domination software that I’ve been using since
early 2006 to clean up. And I have plenty of 6 figure Commission
Junction checks to show how well this software works. You’ll see
them in a few days.

With this one of a kind miracle software, you can put your Adwords,
Overture, or MSN tracking code on the “thank you” page of ANY
affiliate program in the world, with the click of a button. And there’s
nothing they can do about it, because it’s INVISIBLE to them. And,
its 100% legal. My programmer is seriously a sick fu*k.

You’ll instantly know which keywords are converting for you, as if
you owned each of the sites yourself.

I’ll be launching this software to the world in February 2007, and
you’ll not only get a sneak peak at it, you’ll go home with a license
to use the PRO version free for LIFE. You’ll have it weeks before
anyone else.

And when I launch my software to the world, you’ll be rooting for
me to make millions in the first 5 minutes won’t you?

Well you should be.

Because I’m going to share my launch profits with EVERY person
who comes to my intimate gathering.

I’ll tell you exactly how much I’m sharing in a few days. And I think
you’ll be shocked.

How many big time “gurus” have offered you a piece of their big
launch profits? NONE. Never. Nobody has the balls to do that. Except me.

I’ll be the first, and you can bet that’s going to piss off a lot of these
co*ksuckers.

I don’t give a sh*t. Fu*k em.

If you want to be in bed with a player like me, this is your chance. And
this opportunity will NOT come around again.

More details to come in the next few days.

So let’s get rich together…..bitches.

-RJ

P.S. I’ll drop you a note later this week with more details.
Next Tuesday will be the day that I start taking applications
for the whole enchilada. And oh yeah, I reserve the right to
deny any person from coming to my private field trip
FOR ANY REASON. Real players only. You’ve been warned!