Hey Losers,

More from the mailbag my pet Phillipino has sent me…

Elizabethe writes:
I am going to try and write this without provoking you to call me any names…lol   Anyway, I found your website and wandered through. I was seriously thinking of sending that whopping $9.95 because I am interested in what you are saying/selling. Then, I’ve read your blog and alot of this stuff is over my head. Not that I couldn’t learn it, but I really am not familiar with any of the intricacies you discuss. My question, Will I be able to use your system without becoming a computer guru? I don’t mind learning something new but I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the info. I can’t afford to f**k up too much  before I make money. Okay, let the chastising begin. Thanks your royal jerkiness!

Its a good thing I already have an extremely low opinion of all you people, otherwise I’d be upset by emails like this.

Look - you don’t need to be a genius to make money online!  We all know of gurus out there who are slightly smarter than than retarded rocks.

My system is the easiest, most brain-dead system you’ll find to teach new people how to make money on the internet.  Period.  You don’t need to know how to work a computer beyond turning it on, accessing the internet, and pointing & clicking your mouse.

The stuff I write here on my blog is meant to supplement the material in my course.  Some of it can be advanced, because people want to know how to do more advanced stuff as time goes on!  That’s natural, baby.  Some day, after you’re an old pro at this, you’ll come to this blog and understand every freakin’ work I’m saying.

I know that with all the info in this market, it can be easy to get OVERWHELMED.  The key is to just focus on teh BASICS and get started.  Eventually, you’ll run into things where you go “Gee, I don’t know how to handle this.  I guess I need to learn something new.”  Eventually, your knowledge base builds up and you’ll learn more.

See how that works?

Honestly, this stuff isn’t hard once you get used to it.  And my course is a great place to start.

Later Losers,

-RJ

Hey Losers,

Got another good question from one of you morons.  Check it out…

I need some help on how to get clicks to convert into sales! I have used the AdWords demographic strategies and have had over 2000 Clicks between 5 campaigns. I ran each campaign until it had around 350 clicks. I need some help as to how I can improve my sales via PPC.

-Steven

Conversions are about two things - the quality of your traffic and the quality of your sales page.

Obviously, I know NOTHING about your sales process.  But if you want to improve your shit, you need to start SPLIT TESTING those mothers…

Here’s the deal…

You’re setting up your campaigns in Google, and it sounds like you’re doing a good job at it.  Your ads are getting clicks.  But are you split testing your ads?

If you create better ads, you attract better buyers, get a higher click through rate, and a lower cost per click.  You always, always, ALWAYS want to split test your ads!!!!

To do this, go into campaign settings and choose to “Rotate” your ads instead of “optimizing” them.  Optimizing your ad rotation is just a way for Google to rape you on fees.  Don’t do it.  Always create two ads for every adgroup you have, and make sure they’re evenly displayed.

Next, sign up for Winner Alert.  This will help you keep track of what ads are doing the best.  Do at least 3 split tests per adgroup before settling on the winning ad.  But if you’re anal, or you can hire people to handle this for you, do continual split testing with your ads to constantly improve CTR.

As you’re split testing your ads, make sure you’re tracking conversions of your campaigns.  Use negative keywords to make sure your ads only show up for relevant keyword terms.  Pause adgroups that get 200 clicks but no conversions.  If an adgroup hasn’t converted by the 200th click, its a loser and needs to be shut off.

Use Google’s ad placement feature to make sure your ads show up on the first page of results.  If you’re doing a test, set this for a maximum of 1 and a minimum of 8.  If your ad isn’t showing up on the first page of results, chances are your test isn’t going to be very accurate.

Next, make sure your landing page is being tested so it converts at an optimum level.  You can use Google Website Optomizer for this.  It’s free and pretty accurate.  If you’re promoting an affiliate product, create a split test link that rotates between two different affiliate offers, and see which one converts the best for you.  Go for the offer that makes the most sales.

Too many people are in a rush to get traffic, and they never think about conversions.  That’s B.S.  You have to think of BOTH.  The testing phase is always a bitch because you’re shelling out money and trying to find out what works.  But once you find out what works, you can now focus your efforts on the winners and ramp those up to get even MORE of that type of traffic, and that’s when the money starts flowing.

I recommend testing anywhere from two weeks to a full month.  Usually, you’ll know what’s working after 30 days worth of data.

Later Losers,

-RJ

S’up Losers,

In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t posted anything lately.  Why? Because I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE IT!  That’s why.  STFU.  Its summer fer cryin’ out loud.

Anyway, my pet phillipino boy who combs through all your Q&A’s has gotten back to me with a few reasonably intelligent questions.  Here’s one now…

Howard Dennison writes:
Hi RJ,

Your new blog totally kicks ass. I’m writhing in pathetic jealousy as I wonder how much you paid some coding genius from Uzbekistan to program this bad boy.

My blog is nowhere near as sexy as yours but I’ve worked on it quite a while and I’ve got it making a couple bucks a day with Google Adsense (on the good days). It’s a blog dedicated to sharing funny videos and I’m getting 200-300 visitors a day from Google search results, link exchanges, and social bookmarking.

I think it has the potential to break 1000 visitors a day. What kind of top secret profitable traffic methods can I tap into in order to make some more green?

I like how you guys out there think there are some top secret traffic methods that only the “gurus” know about.

Face it - you Losers already know all the traffic secrets!  There’s nothing new under the sun, baby!  Its all old school when it comes to traffic.

Here’s the different traffic sources you can get:

1.  Pay Per Click Traffic

2.  Search Engine Traffic

3.  Banner Traffic

4.  Video Traffic

5.  CPA Network Traffic

6.  Social Media & Web 2.0 Traffic

There are a few others, but those are the big ones.

The real trick here isn’t so much finding new traffic sources.  That’s easy.  The important thing is to find traffic that will MAKE YOU MOOLAH. $$$$.

Of course, throw enough traffic at ANYTHING and you’ll make money.  No problem.  But you gotta be dilligent about tracking your traffic.

So if you want to really ramp up your site traffic, here’s how to do it…

1. Pay Per Click - Sign up for Google Adwords and target keywords and websites.  Track the shit out of that traffic and narrow down which keywords/websites are converting for you.  Then copy those campaigns over to Yahoo and MSN.  Be sure to track those too.  But if they convert on Google. chances are they’ll convert on the other two as well.

2.  Search Engine Traffic - Make sure your site is optimized for the search engines.  Easiest way to do this is to add a wordpress blog to your site along with a Google Sitemap.  Wordpress is set to PING the search engines automatically every time its updated.  So if you target your blog to your main keywords, eventually you’ll get ranked for them and get that free traffic.  Once you’re set up, start building backlinks to your blog.  The easiest way to do this is to just take every post you write up for it, and submit it as an article to multiple article directories, linking back to the original post for your desired keyword.  This will build up link juice for your site.  You can also take advantage of Wordpress’s trackback and pingback feature to get link juice from like-minded blogs.

3.  Banner Traffic - Take your best converting ad from your Google PPC account, and have it turned into banner ads.  You can hire someone to do this for you.  It doesn’t need to be fancy, just words against a white background.  Just make it for every possible banner ad size.  Use these on the Google Content Network, along with banner servers like AdBrite.  You can also target specific websites and cut deals with them to display your banners.  There are also free banner exchanges you can sign up for to get your ads displayed everywhere.  Just be sure to track what websites are sending you the converting traffic!  Use PPSeer for this.  Systematically eliminate the junk sites, and focus on getting more traffic from the winning sites.

4.  Video Traffic - Make a video, sign up for Traffic Geyser, and blast that badboy out to every video site you can find.  Make sure your website is prominently displayed in the video, and your description and title are keyword loaded.  The easiest way to make a video is to record yourself reading an article, and set that audio to a still image.  You can do this extremely easily with a program like iMovie or something similar.  Easy, right?

5.  CPA Network - take your offer and blast it out to the CPA networks like Azoogle, Commission Junction, ROI Rocket, and all the others.  Use your converting banner ads to give to affiliates and the like.  Even if your offer isn’t eating up the rankings on these networks, you’ll build up a great network of affiliates sending you traffic over time.  If you’re not a merchant, you can use CPA networks for a pay per action of some sort, like newsletter signup or something like that.

6.  Social Media & Web 2.0 - Hire some people in a 3rd world country to set up social bookmarking accounts for your blog, and create Myspace and Facebook accounts.  Have them automatically add friends to your accounts and send them bulletins about your site.  Put an opt in form on your pages and get people on your list from these sites.  Then send them to your site and offers through emailing your list.  There are so many web 2.0 sites out there, you can get creative and figure out how to drive traffic with them.

I could go on for hours on all the different traffic strategies you can use.  But I won’t.  Just don’t try and figure out the “newest” thing.  Go for the old shit that still works, and learn how to do it REALLY WELL.

Later Losers,

-RJ