Archive for the ‘Fun Stuff’ Category

Hey Guess What

Author: The Rich Jerk

18 Feb

I’m in the middle of filming a bunch of cool sh*t for you losers to drool over. You’ll see a day in my life. Actually several days. I’ve acquired another property in Malibu, more babes, and more vehicles. You’ll see it all.

This Rich Jerk series of Webisodes will be released to the public on March 6th, to be followed by the OFFICIAL LAUNCH OF RICH JERK 2 – March 16th, 2007.

Here’s a taste of what Rich Jerk 2 will be all about:

- Evolution from a nothing, to an internet marketing millionaire. Starting with ZERO cash. Step by Step videos that will DEFINITELY get me sued.

- A monthly subscription based Rich Jerk website with 2 levels. Tons of free content for free members. Tons of Wicked content for paid members. And the fee will be nominal. Even cheap enough for you broke ass wannabes to get in the door.

- Interviews with unknown internet marketing millionaires – Rich Jerk style. A bunch of people are about to get famous while I slap them around.

- Tons of content on Web 2.0 money-making methods that nobody is talking about. Over 30 different categories on how to make money online. You’d have to be dead not to be able to find at least 1 that works for you.

- Back-to-basics, step by step training for those of you who know NOTHING.

- And of course….. Blackhat tactics that will blow your mind.

Later Losers,

21 Comments

Filed under: Fun Stuff

10,000 FU’s

Author: The Rich Jerk

10 Dec

Dear Loser,

I’ve sent out two emails in the past few days
with some groundbreaking news:

a) I’m holding a live 2 day event.

b) I’m releasing some killer software.

c) I have video proof that I’m fu*king awesome.

If you missed my shocking video, go to
http://www.therichjerk.com/site/proof

In response to the above I received over 20,000 replies.
In the email marketing world, that’s a tremendous response.

And more than 10,000 of those replies were from people
who told me to fu*k off, die a slow death, go to Hell,
wait for a hitman, prepare for a broken jaw, blah blah blah.

In other words, the same ole’ stuff I always get.

But people are EXTRA pissed at me this time, because they
never took me seriously before. But I just shoved video
proof UP THEIR ASSES. And now they’re angry, because
there’s no denying it now – how legit I am, and how
truly pathetic they are.

Not many people can handle that truth.

The thing is, if you can’t handle me – if you are insecure,
incapable, offended, and/or insanely jealous of me,
why the fu*k are you reading this. Do curse words bother
you? Then FU*K OFF! You knew what you were getting into
when you signed up, and we’re not in preschool, kids. I
live in the real world. And I play with the big boys.

If you can’t handle the real world, then PERMANENTLY REMOVE
YOURSELF from my list here:

http://www.therichjerk.com/mgnt/optout

I want you gone more than YOU want to be gone. So get out,
and good riddance.

I hope that link just helped me get rid of a few hundred thousand
clueless idiots who will never amount to jack sh*t.

Moving on, I want get to serious with those of you who
are still here.

You know me by now. You know what I’m all about:
Making tons of money doing things that aren’t “politically correct”.
Because I don’t give a sh*t what people think of me.
“Status Quo” has never been my thing and it never will be.

If you have a problem with that, again LEAVE NOW by going here:

http://www.therichjerk.com/mgnt/optout

I get THOUSANDS of new subscribers every day, but all I want
are those who are serious about making some money. I don’t
care if that’s 900,000 people or only 22 people. Even if it’s
just one hick in Arkansas, that’s the guy I want to talk to.

- If you are skeptical of me, go away.

- If you think I’m a scammer, go away.

- If you doubt you can make money online, go away.

And if I haven’t weeded you out by now, let’s try this on
for size:

If you have anything less than $6k available in your
bank account or on credit cards, the rest of this email will be
useless to you. Because if that’s the case, you haven’t used
my book properly, and you aren’t ready for the next level.

By now you should have at the VERY LEAST made a few thousand
bucks using my methods. But if you’re still dirt poor,
I can’t help you right now – you need to use my book and
get back to me later. It’s not rocket science.

So for those of you who don’t have at least $6k available
some way, somehow….close this page and get to work.

I’ll wait a few moments here for all of you to leave………
…………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………….
(elevator music playing)
…………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………….
I’m serious….LEAVE!………………………………….
…………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………….

Still here?

Good. Now I should only have the attention of the few people who
actualy “get” me. The people who take me and my messages for
what they are….a WAKE UP CALL. And evidently you got the
message. You know who you are. And you know I’m talking
specifically to YOU right now.

Not only do you “get” me, but I also get you. Because I’ve
been where you are. No matter if you’re just getting by,
with a little money in the bank, or living off of credit -
or even if you’re currently making a decent living but
want to GO BIG.

I’ve been there.

And now your life can change. You CAN be where I am.

I’m no Pulitzer Prize winner. I’m a freakin’ college drop out.
I barely got through 1 year before I quit. I couldn’t
hack it. I tried regular retail and corporate jobs too.
But I don’t like to be told what to do. Telling your boss
to fu*k off makes it hard to hold a job. I found out
the only way I’d every be happy was by being my own boss.

If that’s you too, your time has arrived. Because I’m about
to take a handful of people and PERSONALLY change their lives.

No bullsh*t marketing schemes here. I like to do those
sometimes, and I can show you how to do them to, but right
now I’m being as straight up as I’ve ever been. So take this message
for what it is – the thing you’ve been waiting for.

On January 11th and 12th I’m going to expose a few people to
a lifestyle, a business process, trade secrets, software, and
more – a culmination of things you’ve never seen before.

- Peer over my shoulder during a normal business day.

- Sit in on meetings

- Hear my phone calls to some of the most influential
marketers and business people in the world

- Soak it all in

Then accompany me to a true Southern California Mansion,
where we’ll eat, drink, fu*k around, and then get down
to business. Ask me anything you want, in a brutal Q & A
session. Then be exposed to a few of my “friends” who have
helped me get to where I am. These are guys that very
few people know about.

- 2 guys who do over $1 million/month creating leads online

- The underground copywriter who writes all of the sales
letters for the biggest online product launches in the world.
His last one collected over $2 million within 24 hours, and
will collect another $10 million over the next 12 months.

- A couple of surprise guests that you would never expect me
to be associated with. I expect to see mouths drop open.

I’ll also be handing out a bunch of free gifts that will
blow your mind. And I’m not talking about bullsh*t DVD’s,
marketing courses, etc. This is REAL stuff. Trips, electronics,
and more.

And all of that IS JUST DAY 1.

On DAY 2, we’ll dig in for an intense training session
for an unbelievable money-sucking software created by a partner
of mine. This kind of software has never been made available
before. It’s called Keyword X-Ray, and it will give you a HUGE
edge over 99.9% of the other marketers out there. It will help
you DOMINATE with Pay-Per-Click advertising, and Search
Engine Optimization.

Imagine being able to see every keyword stat of any site in
the world that has an affiliate program, as if the site were
your own. It’s now possible.

The CREATOR of the software will walk you through everything all
day and all night if necessary. Whatever it takes to get
you feeling like you’re ready to go out and DESTROY any competition.

So, to sum it up, my event will be January 11th and 12th in
San Diego, CA.

Day 1 – The “You Just Hit the Fu*kin Lottery” Day with RJ.

Day 2 – The “Destroy All Humans” Keyword X-Ray Software Training Day.

Oh, and one more thing. We will begin taking orders for this
event on Tuesday, December 12th at 12pm EST (9am PST).

But money DOESN’T get you into my event. It’s gonna take more than
that. Space is extremely limited. When the special site goes live,
we’ll be taking APPLICATIONS along with a small down payment. If
your application sucks, your small deposit will be refunded.

The special website to visit at 12pm EST on Tuesday, Decmber 12th will
be: http://www.rjxray.com

Right now it simply redirects to one of my other sites. But Tuesday
at noon eastern, the REAL page will load promptly. I suggest you
get there a few minutes early and REFRESH the page often until it’s ready.
That way you can be one of the first to get in. As soon as I feel
we have enough qualified applicants, the page will be taken down, so
don’t procrastinate if you are SERIOUS about going.

Let’s do this.

P.S. See my video that made so many people FREAK OUT:

http://www.therichjerk.com/site/proof

3 Comments

Filed under: Fun Stuff

Pics from my upcoming Rich Jerk Commercial

Author: The Rich Jerk

23 Jan

Making money online will be even easier for losers like you once my new commercial hits the air. See a day in the life of the Rich Jerk below.

Enlarge image

The Rich Jerk’s 2005 Ferrari 360 F1 and 2004
Cessna Citation CJ1. I know, the jet is only worth
about $6 Million and it’s already starting to feel
inadequate. I gotta upgrade to a Gulfstream soon.