An open letter to all Losers who keep whining about not getting any traffic to their lame-ass websites:

STFU.

The reason none of your traffic is converting is because the traffic you’re breaking your pimply butt over isn’t worth a damn.  It’s random.  It’s untargeted.  It’s the online equivalent of driving a Prius – it seems like a good idea, until you actually start doing it.

If you want to spend your time doing something productive (you know, that will actually make you some money), spend your time getting quality visitors to your website.

I’d rather have 100 quality visitors than 100,000 untargeted, low-quality site visitors any day of the week.

Why?  Simple: Because quality website traffic buys crap.  Untargeted, low-quality traffic doesn’t.

So if you’re spending money buying low quality website traffic, then it sucks to be you.  Really.  You might as well pull that money out of the ATM, wipe your bum with it, roll it up and snort a few lines of coke, then toss it in the garbage along with a flaming bottle of vodka and watch it go up in smoke.  You’d actually be getting some use from your money that way.

The art of driving traffic is all about finding people who are actually interested in your product, and getting them to your website.  If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.  And you know what?  It actually IS easy, and yet very few people out there are able to pull it off.

Yet more proof that most of you are morons.  But I digress…

Here are some ways to get yourself some quality traffic:

1.  Track your conversions on paid advertising

Only complete idiots spend money on traffic that doesn’t make them money.  So if you’re not tracking conversions, and you’re actually paying for the site traffic you get – you’re hella stupid and will never, ever, ever become rich like me.

Most advertising sites give you tracking code you can use to see what’s actually giving you a return on your investment.  And most affiliate programs offer tracking IDs.  If you aren’t getting a return, stop paying for the traffic immediately.  If you are, then pay as much as you can for that traffic and watch the money roll in.

2.  Build an email list.

Duh.  People who opt into an email list are basically screaming at you “I’M INTERESTED IN BUYING YOUR CRAP!!!!”  It’s a great way to weed out the “lookie-loos” from the people who will actually make you money.

If you’re 100% brain dead and think email marketing is hard, it’s not.  It’s super easy.  Just sign up for any newsletter service out there, copy and paste a bit of HTML code onto your site, and boom!  You’re building a list.

Anyone who is not building email lists is a Loser.  Pure and simple.

3.  Target the right keywords.

Most of you butt-monkies out there have no idea how important proper keyword research is on the internet.  Keywords are the basis of how people find websites!  If you target the right keywords, not just for your paid ads, but for your blog pages and so forth, you will find the type of traffic you’re looking for.

For instance, someone searching for the keyword “TV” is a lot less likely to buy than someone searching for “Sony Wega SXRD 60″ Rear Projection TV.”  One of those keywords is a “casual shopper” keyword.  The other one is a “buyer” keyword.  (I’ll let you figure out which one is which) The difference?  The person typing in the buyer keyword is a lot more likely to spend money than the casual shopper. 

So if you can figure out the keywords your buyers are using to search the internet, you can target ranking your website or buying ads for those keywords, and get more of that delicious quality traffic.  Yum!

There’s a lot more I could tell you about how to find quality traffic.  But these three tips should get you started in the right direction.  But if you really, really, really want to learn more, buy my freakin’ book.  It’s awesome.  I’m awesome.  You’re not until you get my course.  So there.

So start getting quality traffic and stop your complaining.  Or keep getting crap traffic and whine like a mule.  Your choice.

Later Losers,

–RJ

P.S.  If you’re reading this, take the time to comment on my freakin’ blog and tell me what a genius I am.  Otherwise, screw off.

I constantly get emails from Losers wondering how they can start making money on the internet.  They’re either begging me to do the work for them and just “hand over” the money, or they’re calling me out and demanding that I “prove” to them that it can be done.

The problem with both these scenarios is (besides these people being full-on retards) that both types of people reek of desperation.

They are constantly running around, desperately looking for something – ANYTHING – to make them money.

As soon as some new guru comes out with a product promising to make them a bajillion dollars, they jump all over it.  And as soon as the next product comes out, they jump on that too.

In sort - they aren’t bothering to focus on anything.

And if there’s one thing ol’ RJ has learned, its that the key to success in any field is FOCUS.

For instance, I built my empire by focusing all my time and efforts on search engine optimization.  I got really good at that stuff, and built up assets that I was able to sell for large sums of money.

Then, I got really good at buying media.  Make no mistake about it – the Rich Jerk company isn’t successful because I’m awesome (though that’s definitely part of it).  It’s the multi-million dollar money-maker it is because I know how to get people to my website.  Period.

So instead of running around desperately trying to find something to make you cash – STOP.  Stop wasting your time.  Stop wasting your energy.  Stop wasting your money.  Focus on just ONE THING you want to get good at, and get freakin’ good at it.

Period.

I would suggest getting good at Google Adwords.  Seriously.  Knowing how to buy traffic is the quickest and easiest way to make money online.  It will help you in more ways than you know possible, and Google is by far the easiest way to get started.

And if you’re not good at it at first – DON’T GIVE UP.  Take your time, and learn.  Losers always quit.  Winners never give up.  So if you want to start making some cash, learn to master the skill of buying website traffic.  Not only is this something you can use to make money as an affiliate, it’s also a skill you can use to market yourself to other people who are too lazy or stupid to accomplish what you have.

Understand that the internet is always changing, but the fundamentals don’t.  No matter what “web 2.0″ B.S. gets vomited out, people will always respond to advertising.

But if you want to be the type of people who become experts at using sites like Facebook, Myspace, Squidoo, etc. to get traffic and make money, then by all means – do that!  Be that guy!  But focus on it.  Don’t try it for a while and then jump ship.

I understand the idea of quick money on the internet is appealing, and lord knows there’s enough of it out there.  But there is also something to be said about taking your time, paying your dues, and being in it for the LONG HAUL.

So if you’re struggling, stop wasting your time.  Buckle down and get serious.

Oh yeah, and buy my stuff.

Later Loser,

-RJ

Hey Losers,

More from the mailbag my pet Phillipino has sent me…

Elizabethe writes:
I am going to try and write this without provoking you to call me any names…lol   Anyway, I found your website and wandered through. I was seriously thinking of sending that whopping $9.95 because I am interested in what you are saying/selling. Then, I’ve read your blog and alot of this stuff is over my head. Not that I couldn’t learn it, but I really am not familiar with any of the intricacies you discuss. My question, Will I be able to use your system without becoming a computer guru? I don’t mind learning something new but I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the info. I can’t afford to f**k up too much  before I make money. Okay, let the chastising begin. Thanks your royal jerkiness!

Its a good thing I already have an extremely low opinion of all you people, otherwise I’d be upset by emails like this.

Look – you don’t need to be a genius to make money online!  We all know of gurus out there who are slightly smarter than than retarded rocks.

My system is the easiest, most brain-dead system you’ll find to teach new people how to make money on the internet.  Period.  You don’t need to know how to work a computer beyond turning it on, accessing the internet, and pointing & clicking your mouse.

The stuff I write here on my blog is meant to supplement the material in my course.  Some of it can be advanced, because people want to know how to do more advanced stuff as time goes on!  That’s natural, baby.  Some day, after you’re an old pro at this, you’ll come to this blog and understand every freakin’ work I’m saying.

I know that with all the info in this market, it can be easy to get OVERWHELMED.  The key is to just focus on teh BASICS and get started.  Eventually, you’ll run into things where you go “Gee, I don’t know how to handle this.  I guess I need to learn something new.”  Eventually, your knowledge base builds up and you’ll learn more.

See how that works?

Honestly, this stuff isn’t hard once you get used to it.  And my course is a great place to start.

Later Losers,

-RJ

I just read an interesting article over at CNet about how the latest internet gold rush is officially dying.

For those of you who don’t keep up with stuff, allow me to translate – recently, all the hype on how to make quick riches online had to do with Facebook Applications.

Basically, you create some type of software widget people could put on their Facebook pages, you get the billions of retards on Facebook to use it, and then you sell out to people with money (that is, if you hadn’t figured out some way to monetize your application your own damn self).

According to the CNet article, Facebook has reached critical mass, and Facebook Apps as a way of getting rich online are going the way of the dodo. Mass proliferation of crappy applications, plus the advent of OpenSocial, and the fact that Facebook is run by a raging loony-bin of retards, means that the gold rush is over.

Can you not make any money off a Facebook App? Sure you can. I’m certain it’s still possible. Would you want to go through the trouble of doing so? Not in my opinion.

Lemme tell you a little sumtin’ sumtin (and pay attention, because this knowledge bomb is gonna make you a lot of money in the long run)…

New developments on the internet have a fast lifespan. They burn bright and hot for a few months, and then they die. In order to take advantage of them, you have to be ON TOP OF SHIT. You gotta be reading about the latest technologies comin’ down the grapevine, you gotta beat the crowd to them, you gotta know how to make money with them, and you have to know when to LEAVE and move on.

It’s sort of like day trading.

Do people get rich day trading stocks? Sure. Do they get wealthy? No. They’re always too busy working to make a quick buck rather than to get the big money.

To me, all this social media, web 2.0 horse ka-ka is nothing but another avenue for LEAD GENERATION.

If you have a solid business, you use these outlets to generate leads for that business, and that will make you money LONG TERM. A business is something you can keep going indefinitely, a perpetual money machine. A fad is something that will make you money in the short term, but is unsustainable in the long haul (stuff like adsense sites, Facebook Apps, etc.).

So for those of you out there who are worried about missing the boat on the next “big thing,” don’t sweat it. Stick to the fundamentals – the kind of fundamentals I teach you in my book. That stuff will ALWAYS make you money. And you don’t have to chase after it like a desperate snake oil salesman. You can take your time, master it, and make real sustainable money.

For instance – everyone is looking at Facebook and writing off the App business. Some people are testing out their advertising system too (which sucks huge donkey balls, by the way). But if you really want to know how to use Facebook to make MFM, here’s what you do…

Create a profile…

Get an ass-load of friends…

Promote as many offers to those friends as you can.

It works! Because you’re generating LEADS and then MARKETING to them. Simple, straightforward, and effective. Good ol’ marketing brew-ha-ha. And you don’t have to be a geek programmer to do it.

It’s easy to get caught up in hype. But always, always, ALWAYS stick to the fundamentals, and you can never go wrong.

Later Losers,

-RJ

Some chode-breath named Lee posted this in one of the comment threads….

My problem with you guys, why I do not bother with you, you lode us with too much Info, that I don’t have time to read, and fallow.

And by the time I reach a few page of the how, and do, you told us about,something else.

so you do not have time to see what works.

You guys just go for the almighty dollor, you dont really care about people, and how they make it.
As long as you get your e-book sell.

when I see sincerly care in what ever you or trying to sell me I will ack.

Blessings

Lee

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa! You give me too many great ideas to make money with! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

I have a low IQ coupled with ADD and failed hooked on phonics, so I can’t read all your stuff! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

I hate you because you’re rich, and I’m a loser, and even though you’re practically TELLING me exactly what I need to do to become rich too, I’m too freakin’ LAZY to find the time to actually do what you tell me!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lee, if you were here right now, I’d happily bitch slap you until you cry like a little girl.

Seriously.

If we ever cross paths, just let me know who you are and I will immediately plant a rosey-red palm-print on your dumb, stupid, loser face, and you can brag to all your buddies about how honored you are the Rich Jerk graced you with a nice big can of “STFU.”

You know what? You’re right. I AM all about the money. I could give two flying poops what you do with your life. I’m rich, and your not.

But honestly – do you want to learn from someone who ISN’T about the money? Do you want to learn from some lame-o who’s poor but nice? Or do you want to learn from a take-no-prisoners mercenary who’d sell his grandma for a nickel because he worships at the church of capitalism?

I make money. Lots of it. So shut up and listen to me.

If you don’t have time for my advice – MAKE time. Stop looking for excuses to fail, and start looking for reasons to succeed.

Stay up an extra hour every night and just focus on what I tell you to do.

Find ONE THING I suggest you think is interesting or fun, and just DO THAT. There’s lots of things you can do to make money, but you only have to start with one. The others will still be around and working after you’ve mastered that one thing.

Be a winner, not a victim. Victims talk about the reasons why they CAN’T do something – like you. Winners think of reasons why they CAN do something – like me.

You think I just magically became the head of this huge multi-million dollar online empire overnight? HELL NO! I worked at it, damn it. I found the time to learn the skills I needed. I found the time to see what works and what doesn’t. I found the time to do what I needed to in order to succeed.

What I DIDN’T do is go one someone’s blog and bitch and moan about how helpless I am.

Anyone can make money on the internet. ANYONE. There are some guys who are two IQ points away from legally being retards who are making millions.

So as long as you are not mentally handicapped, YOU CAN TOO.

And if you think you can’t, stop trying. Seriously. Go get a job at McDonalds. That’s nice and safe and predicable. They’ll tell you how to make fries and heat up hamburgers, and that’s IT. You’ll have plenty of time on your hands to learn that, I’m sure.

Later Losers,

–RJ

So some loser named Brian was bitching in one of my other blog posts. Check it:

Brian whines:
HOW THE HELL IS GETTING MORE TRAFFIC GOING TO HELP ME IF I DON’T HAVE A BUSINESS NEVER THE LESS A WEBSITE.

I WAS HOPING YOU COULD HELP ME OUT
ENJOY YOUR MILLION’S AND NOW I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A $100.00 BILL WHILE TRYING TO LIGHT
ONE OF YOUR EXPENSIVE CUBAN CIGARS.

LATER JERK.

First off – I wipe my butt with $100s. I light my cigars with $1,000 bills. Get it right, loser.

Are you seriously asking me this question? Seriously.

Seriously?

Are you writing to me from one of those special institutions where they tape pillows to the walls so you don’t hurt yourself when you start banging your head in your cell?

Do you find you’re often forced to wear earmuffs and a football helmet at the same time?

Are you hijacking your neighbor’s internet connection and writing to me from your single-wide trailer on your lunch break from the porta-potty-emptying business?

How will traffic help you if you don’t have a business? Gosh. Sometimes it’s all I can do to keep from ramming my multi-ringed-in-expensive-jewelry-fingers through my laptop.

Okay – retard – here’s how you start an online business. I’ll use small words to help you follow me so you don’t get confused.

Ready? Here we go…

1. Go to www.clickbank.com.

2. Sign up for an account.

3. Pick a product to promote.

Boom! You’re in business.

You don’t need to create a store, you don’t need to make a website, you don’t need to warehouse or ship anything. All you need to do is send traffic to OTHER PEOPLE’S STUFF.

And then they give you money.

Is that so hard to understand? Really? Maybe I’m actually the smartest man on the planet and just don’t know it. I don’t know. But you know what? This is why I am a winner, and you Brian, are a LOSER.

Because you bitch and moan about not having stuff. If I don’t have something I want, I figure out a way to get it! I’ll actually take time off from lounging in the hot tub, and sit and think, and go “Hmmmm… how can I get this thing I want?”

If I can’t figure it out on my own, I call up someone I know who could advise me.

If they can’t help, I go online and try to find people who’ve gotten what I want and then do what they did.

What I don’t do is sit around and BITCH ABOUT STUFF.

Complaining never gets you any results. It just makes you feel better because you get to play the helpless victim. Well, I got news for you, buddy –

THERE ARE NO VICTIMS IN BUSINESS.

There are just winners, losers, and consumers. Period. Ain’t more complicated than that.

Listen – making money on the internet is so easy. Heck, you don’t even need a website anymore. You don’t need to know HTML. You don’t need to buy a domain name. You don’t have to make or write anything. You just sign up for a good affiliate program, use their materials, send traffic their way, and make some Gursh Durn money.

Write me again when you graduate from first grade.

Later Losers,

-RJ