Frequently Asked Questions

If you can't figure something out, then look over this list of frequently asked questions BEFORE sending an idiotic email. If you still send an email with a question that is already answered on this page, I guarantee you will NOT like the response you get.

Q:	How do I know this isn't a scam?
A:	Because I said so. My program is not like any other program in the world. It's a no BS guide to making money online.

Q:	I can't pay by credit card or by Clickbank. How can I order the book?
A:	You can contact us to arrange another payment method.

Q:	What proof do you have that you're rich?
A:	See my proof of earnings.

Q:	I was not able to download the book correctly, and/or I lost my copy of the book. How do I get another one?
A:	My support staff can attach the book to an email for you. These poor saps will get canned if they send you a copy of the book without a proof of purchase, so contact us, but you MUST include your order/receipt number.

Q:	I received an error when trying to open the book with Adobe Acrobat. What do I need to do?
A:	You need to upgrade to the newest version of Adobe Acrobat, which is free to download for both PC and Mac. If you still have the problem, you need to completely remove/uninstall Adobe Acrobat from your computer, then restart your computer and go download the new version from the link above.

Q:	After I order, will you help me with any questions?
A:	My support staff is available 24-7. I keep them all hyped up with a constant supply of energy drinks, so they are available around the clock. All customers receive lifetime support.

Q:

Does the Rich Jerk offer a private, 1-on-1 coaching program?

A:

Yes. The Rich Jerk has trained a select team of 15-20 expert coaches, called the Rich Jerk Success Team. We are only accepting a select few students who we will coach 1 on 1 for the next 6 months. Many will be featured as testimonials on the Rich Jerk's website and in upcoming infomercials. If you are close-minded or annoying, don't even bother applying. For an application to work 1-on-1 with a Rich Jerk Success Team expert, submit an application.

Q:	Why would a multi-millionaire jerk even bother selling an ebook online?
A:	Because obviously I'm getting even richer from sales of my ebook, even while reclining in my lounge chair in Fiji. When you offer a kick-ass product that makes money for both the buyer and seller, it's a no-brainer.

Q:	Can you guarantee that I will make money with your program?
A:	There is no possible way that I can guarantee you will make money, because I know most of you will buy a great book like mine and never even read it, or you won't apply the strategies described in it. You're just too freakin pathetic. However, if you DO apply the strategies in the book properly, I DO guarantee you will make money.

Q:

What are the details of your money-back guarantee?

A:

I offer a 60 day money back guarantee. Try my strategies out for up to 60 days. If you aren't successful, I'll tell you that you are in the wrong profession, I'll question your IQ, but I'll also give you a 100% refund. But instead of whining, you should first try contacting my support staff for assistance. These guys are trained to help you make money using my strategies. They will critique your website, methods, etc. and point you in the right direction.

Q:

What additional start-up costs should I expect in order to make your strategies work for me?

A:

It depends on if you are trying to sell your own product, or someone else's product as an affiliate, or if you are selling on Ebay. Creating your own website will cost approx. $10-$30 for the domain, and $5-$25/month for hosting. Having a website created for you by one of our partners will cost you $50-$300, unless you take advantage of our FREE website offer. Advertising on PPC search engines will run you at least $5/day to make any money. Buying wholesale goods to resell on Ebay will cost you at least $50 to get your first products. But of course many of strategies I show you won't cost anything at all to implement.

Q:

If you are so rich and confident in your program, why don't you give it to me for free? I will pay you back when I make money.

A:

Yeah...right. When you give something away free or for next to nothing, people don't value it highly, so it sits around and ultimately gets thrown away or deleted without any effort made to use it. On the other hand, when you spend a decent amount of money for something, you make damn sure you actually attempt to use the product. And in order to make money with my program, you WILL need to actually USE my strategies. So no freebies. If you're looking for a handout, go to the welfare office.

Q:	I'm outside of the USA. Will your book be able to help me make money?
A:	Absolutely. Geography will not limit the potential of my strategies to make you money.

Q:	I know NOTHING about the internet, HTML, or how to make money. Will your book be helpful for a complete novice?
A:	Yes. I recently added a supplemental chapter to the book, specifically for beginners only. Both beginners and experts can benefit greatly from my strategies. And you can always contact my staff for personal help. They're not anywhere near as obnoxious as I am (a bunch of sissies if you ask me). But they'll do.

Q:	Can ANYONE benefit from your program?
A:	You must be willing to work on your computer at least a few hours per week, and you must be able to follow simple directions. As long as you are not a complete moron, and you will actually DO THE WORK, my book will be able to help you make money.

Q:	Will you make me a website that will make $1 million dollars? If you do, I will tell everyone you are the real deal.
A:	Let me think...hmmm...NO. Use my book yourself and make your own $1 million dollars. I don't have time to hand out money to you or anyone else. I'm much too important. And I have nothing to prove. Tons of people out there are raving about how well this program works. Do a simple Google search and see for yourself.

Q:	Can I come and work for you? I'm real good and you won't regret it.
A:	No. I have a strong feeling you're NOT real good and I WOULD regret it.

Q:	Are you interested in doing a joint venture?
A:	You'd better be bringing something really good to the table or it won't even get past my screeners.

Q:	I am a poor jerk. Will you send me some money?
A:	Sure thing. Just tell me how much you want. Then go wait at the post office for my check.

Q:	Do you want to make millions together? I have a real good idea, and I'd be doing you a favor.
A:	I can hardly wait.

Q:	I can't afford your book. I'm poor, I'm stupid, I have one leg, I have arthritis, I can't move, can't type, can't talk, can't see, I have 17 kids, I'm divorced, my dog died, I once had a nosebleed, and I have an ingrown toenail. Can you give me a free copy of your book?
A:	Ummm....No.

Q:	You're not rich. You're a fake. I bet I make more than you. What do you think about that?
A:	Somehow I think I'll still manage to sleep okay.

Q:	Will you give me $10,000 to record a rap CD? I'm really good...check this out: I hit a cat with a bat, how do you like that, my rhymes are fat, I wear a hat, I once saw a rat.
A:	Hell no.

Q:	I hate you. You are mean, and obnoxious, and fake, and scammy, and rude, and stupid, and BS, and ugly, and I hate your mom, and you don't really have any money, and you are a liar, and a fraud, and blah blah blah. What do you think about that?
A:	Put down the Schlitz, go outside your trailer, and get some fresh air.

Q:	You've really got some nerve! You think you're better than me?
A:	Yes. I'm a rich, arrogant SOB, and I like it that way.

Q:	If you don't give me your book for free, I'll tell everyone your book is crap, and I'll say bad things about you to the FTC, the Attorney General, the FBI, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, all the President's men, the Secret Service, the Humane Society, the 4H Club, the Church of Scientology, the FDA, Clickbank, Paypal, and the security guy at Wal-Mart.
A:	Good. I have a legal team on salary and I need something for them to do anyway. While you're getting sued, I'll be relaxing in Monaco, getting a massage from Helga.

*NOTICE* - Anyone who distributes illegal copies of our book, or uses our trademarked/copyrighted text and/or images without permission will be reported to their billing/hosting company, and any other related companies for account closure. We will follow with a federal copyright infringement lawsuit in accordance with the The Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA). To date we have prosecuted 11 parties.